Why I Nearly Failed High School Math...

So while shopping at Home Depot one day I came across this little booklet near the Behr paint: Disney Princess Dream Room. Of course, M's little eyeballs spotted it and immediately the campaign for a PINK room began. I delayed by telling her to wait until Grandma came, and then she would help me paint the PINK room. Grandma came, saw the picture, thought I was crazy, but agreed to help me anyway. It all sounded so simple:

Instructions:

1. Make a mark every 16 inches across the ceiling, walls and floor. No problem, right? Easy.
2. Now connect the marks to create a grid. This, as it turns out, was much, much, much harder than it sounds.

Problems even Einstein couldn't solve (I bet):

1. In order to make straight lines, you really need a straight edge. We did not have one. Our tape measure kept curling up so our lines were way off. (NOTE: a piece of edging, while straightish, is not a good substitute for a real straight edge)
   
2. It's really kind of hard to connect dots all the way across a wall, especially when some of those dots disappear into the corner. (and the piece of edging you're using is neither straight nor long enough)
   
3. Did you know that pencil does not wash off walls? I went through approximately 17 little tiny erasers trying to get the marks off so we could draw new, equally incorrect marks.
4. After a while we realized that for some unknown reason, connecting 16 inch marks created a 12 inch square. Not all of our squares were 12 inches. So we found a 12 inch square template and tried drawing squares on the wall. That worked for one row. Two hours later, we gave up.

Frustrated, I said to my mom, "You know, I bet this is really easy to do if you just have the right tool." Without missing a beat she says, "What we need is a plumb line, you know, with chalk." I grit my teeth. " I have one of those in the garage."

I even had extra chalk.

5 minutes later the lines were connected.

And guess what? Chalk comes off the wall really easily! No erasers required!
GRRR!

This is the (almost) finished product. Surprisingly easy, with the right tools.

And don't even get me started on the castle stencil...

P.S. My husband explained the math to me. For those of you who want to know it has something to do with "a squared + b squared = c squared divided by 2" or some such nonesense. Email him if you really want to know.

A Few Funny Comments

It's summertime and we've just been doing summery things. Mostly watching it rain (this year, anyway). So I haven't posted any stories lately since all the summer posts from last year are still applicable. But there have been a few funny comments I wanted to get into writing. In no particular order:

• A: "I was doing Yoda with mommy this morning." W: "Yoda's a person, not a thing." A: "Mommy, what was I doing with you? Yogurt?" Mom: "Yoga" A:"Ooooh, right, yoga, not Yoda!"
• W got a letter in the mail from his third grade teacher. It said that "the first day of school is right around the corner." So W refused to go around any corners for two days because he was hoping to avoid the first day of school.
  
• A: "I know why so many girls like me." Mom and Dad: "Really? Tell us, why do so many girls like you?" A: "Because I do my hair so handsome. Except some days I do it rock star style instead. All spiky."
• I have to add this story: A Bee Story Part 2 - Eric found a hornet's nest buried underground at the bottom of the stairs for the playground slide. He got away with only 1 sting; I got 3. He attacked the nest a few hours later dressed in: a wetsuit topped with rain pants, rain coat, knee high rubber boots, gloves and M's dress up veil over his face. Also armed with 2 cans of Raid and a bug bomb. He dug out the nest and killed the remainder of the hornets. Or so we thought. A few days later A comes screaming into the house with a hornet attached to his ear. The poor kid's ear swelled up twice its normal size. I asked him how it happened and it turns out that W and A were playing at the playground and saw it buzzing around. W gave A this classic advice, "Hold still and it won't see you and you won't get stung." Uh, we had to correct him that actually holding still is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what you want to do when you see something with a stinger flying at you. Run, run away fast!
  

New Pets

Due to our chipmunk vacancy and all the resulting trauma from our Animal ER, I gave in and allowed the kids a trip to the pet store to choose a pet. The caveat: hypo-allergenic, inexpensive and kid-friendly. We started out looking at garter snakes. They're pretty cute, actually, especially the little ones. But it turns out they only eat these little feeder fish (read: trip to the store every week to buy fish plus the burden of keeping said fish alive) and they're "very fast" (read: impossible to catch once your child drops it). So that was out. Next we thought we'd try some tree frogs. Their little sticky feet and bulgy eyes are cute and they eat live crickets. However, they're coated in a special slime and cannot be handled; apparently if the slime wears off it leaves them susceptible to infection. So we moved on to hermit crabs. W really, really wanted one. M didn't care. A really, really wanted a frog. But we had to all agree on the pet choice and A was outnumbered. So we came home with three hermit crabs, a heating lamp, sand, a few extra shells and some crab food (comes in a jar, awesome. They even had little tiny "Crab Cookies" as a treat!). These are the almost perfect pet. The kids can take them out and exercise them, give them short little baths, and let them crawl around on their hands. There's no poop to clean up, no sneezing, no smell and I think we could take them on vacation. So, introducing the newest members of our family: Sebastian, Gary (pictured) and Merilina Seraphina. What's really kind of hilarious is how much these hermit crab personalities mirror the kids. Sebastian is W's pet and he's by far the most outgoing. He loves to explore and is always crawling around and climbing on the wood in the cage. Gary is actually very shy and will only come out when he's on A's hand but then is very affectionate. And Merilina Seraphina came home in a bright purple shell and promptly changed into a bigger, better shell, so she reflects our little clothes horse, M. So funny!

Animal ER

Yep, we need an animal ER around here. It's been animal adventures the last few weeks. Unfortunately, not all the stories end happily. I'll start with the most dramatic, titled in W's journal as "Day of Death."

• One day we found a cute little chipmunk in our house. He had been attracted by the sunflower seeds we scatter on the deck for the chickadees and finches. A very friendly, young chipmunk, easily tamed. We had him eating out of our hands in no time. And he would nonchalantly stroll into the house and run around the kitchen for a while with the kids chasing him until he got tired and ran out the door. Well, we also had some "pet" salamanders and some "pet" algae living in a tub out on the deck. One night it rained and rained and rained and rained and the water level in the tub went up and up. The next morning A came screaming into my room, tears streaming down his face: "Our chipmunk is dead!" Tragically, he had drowned in the salamander tub. It was really very sad and we all cried for a while. Then we held a chipmunk funeral. Here's a picture of his grave:

• There is a family of robins who build a nest under our deck every year. Right now there are three nests, all on top of and beside each other since they feel the need to build a new one every spring, apparently. This year there were 5 baby robins in the nest and we watched them hatch and grow and eat chewed up worms. The day after the tragedy with the chipmunk W came screaming into my room, tears streaming down his face: "One of the baby robins fell out of the nest and is dead." Yep, it was true, although I think it was pushed out of the nest by the other 4 greedy little birds. W, still crying, observed that "it didn't even have a feather! Why do little things always have to die?" I had to agree: "Life is hard for little things." We buried it with the chipmunk.They now have a plan to pad the ground under the nest next year with foam to catch any other baby birds that happen to fall out.
• A few nights ago, Eric walked into the house with a baby killdeer (bird).

Thankfully it wasn't dead or injured, just stupid. 4 of these little babies were running across the road and he stopped to pick one up and bring to safety (via our house). I don't know much about these birds except that they lay their eggs right on the ground, usually in a rocky area and if you approach the nest the mother bird will flap around like she has a broken wing and lead you away from her eggs while the father bird flies around and screeches at you. They are very fast runners as you probably could have guessed by looking at this baby's long skinny legs. So let's hope this one survives!

• We've also had all manner of frogs, toads, grasshoppers, leeches, daddy long legs, etc. as "pets". M had a pretty pink grasshopper that she loved to death. And W is dead set on capturing a dragonfly and putting it on a leash made of dental floss. I do not know where he gets these ideas but I wish him luck!
  

Little, Little Bird

This little hummingbird in Eric's hand is not (thankfully) dead. It is just stunned. I went out to the garage to take care of some recycling and heard this strange buzzing noise. Looking up I noticed these two things flying around and at first I thought they were bats since it was dusk. But bats flap more and looking closer I discovered they were actually hummingbirds. Eric was mowing the lawn so I waved him down and warned him to be quiet and come see this. We watched the two birds for a while and suddenly this one just dropped onto the cement. Of course we thought it was dead but nope, it's little heart was beating super fast and it was still breathing. See how it's holding its beak in its little claw? So cute. We went and got all the kids out of bed to come see the little hummingbird and in a few minutes it woke up, looked around (I ran for the camera again but...too late) and flew away. We see it once in a while, sipping nectar from our iris flowers. Now how many kids can say they have a pet hummingbird?

Stars and Stripes

Hello, poor neglected blog! Here's a story for you:

Sunday, May 31 was the first annual "Hope of America" concert here in VT. When the directors were recruiting singers I asked W if he wanted to be in it. "Nope," was the firm reply so I didn't pursue it much. Then, the night before the concert, he realized that all of his friends and most of his cub scout den were singing in it and therefore he MUST be part of it. I whipped out the cd for him to listen to that night only he fell asleep after the third song. Well, I figured, he's just a little guy and no one will expect the little ones to do much singing anyway. Rehearsal started at 5 p.m. sharp and they were so adorable (I don't have pictures yet but will soon). All the kids had matching T-shirts and a few of them even knew the songs! The directors put in a lot of work and it was a very professional show with a slideshow during the song "Thank You, Military" which touched even the heart of an unpatriotic Canadian. There were many vets in attendance and they were each presented with a certificate of thanks. The only negative aspect of the concert was the weather. Yes, we all prayed that it wouldn't rain but no one thought to pray that it wouldn't snow! You would think, on May 31st, that the weather would be summery and beautiful. Wrong. It was so, so cold. We had frost overnight. The poor little kids, after being outside for 3 hours, were just little frozen popsicles. But on the way home in the van, heat blasting his face, W proclaimed himself "tired, happy, and proud." I asked why he felt that way. "Because, I got to be one of the 4 most important people there. I got to be the "O" (in the song V-O-T-E)" He was the best "O" I've ever seen, I must say. Possibly the only "O" I've ever seen, but still, his timing was impeccable. Those piano lessons must be paying off.

P.S. When the color guard presented the flag and we all stood for the national anthem (W with his left hand over his right chest since the poor kid is left handed and probably doesn't realize his heart is on the left). I was singing along with my hands in my pockets (remember: COLD!) when A turned to me and tugged on my arm. "Mommy," he whispered, "you have to put your hand on your heart." "Oh, sweetie," I replied, "I just can't do that. It feels too weird to me." "But mommy, everyone puts their hands on their hearts during the song!" Daddy intervened, "A, this isn't mommy's country and it's not really her flag so she doesn't have to put her hand on her heart." Now, just to emphasize, I'm happy to be living in this country and I support and thank the military for their service and have very good friends in the air force. I've learned the pledge of allegience, I sing "The Star Spangled Banner" and I have an American flag-type thing on my front door this time of year. But for some reason I just cannot put my hand over my heart when I see the flag (or whatever the protocol is). I don't know why, I just can't do it. Someone asked me , don't Canadians do that, too? And I think my mouth gaped open in horror. No! I exclaimed, and if we did that would make doing it here even worse! So, anyway, happy Memorial Day from a flag waving Canadian.

Our Easter Tradition

I'm not a big fan of the Easter Bunny stuff. I think it's too confusing to kids when you try to mix a religious holiday with Wal-mart. Fortunately we live so far away from stores like Wal-mart that my kids haven't really seen the huge extravagant Easter baskets out there. We start our day with a breakfast of "Eggs in a Nest", which is whipped egg whites baked with the yolk in the middle.
They also got these really cute sugar cookies made by a lady here in Vermont. A had a hard time eating his baby chick's eye which reminded me that I always hated to eat the eye from my own chocolate Easter bunnies. He really wanted to keep the cookie as a pet, but soon learned that some pets are just too delicious to save.
This our annual tradition. I make baskets out of chocolate and then fill it with "Nature's Candy": strawberries, blackblerries, raspberries and blueberries. And a few chocolate eggs for fun. The kids love their chocolate baskets and fruit and I think it keeps them from bouncing off the walls too much...yeah, you're right, probably just wishful thinking on my part.