AMEN!

I recently read these words from the blog of Shannon Hale, author and BYU alumna. http://www.squeetus.com/stage/main.html


I'll just quote her feelings about housework because I Totally Agree:

"OK, really I should say, I plan on accepting that fact any day now. I wish my carpets were vacuumed weekly, that I had a meal plan and didn’t panic when 6 pm rolls around and the kitchen is stone cold. Our backyard is literally a back yard, and I still can’t manage to keep it weed free and full of happy plants. Really, you’d be shocked. And don’t look under my bed. But my priorities are: Max’s needs, husband time, writing, feeding self, sleep, bathing self, church volunteer responsibilities, paying bills…housework comes somewhere down here, maybe after Essential Grooming."

Thank you, Shannon.

COOOOOOODE

I had to post this funny story from M and A on Saturday. I was sick and spent the day lying in bed. W had bruised his back earlier in the morning by sledding into one of the three trees on our property so he was also quietly lying in bed which made for a very peaceful day. For some reason M and A were playing this secret agent game which went like this:

M: (knocks on A's closed bedroom door)
A: Cooooooode?
M: Pieman!
A: No, M, that's not the code. Do it again.
M: (knocks on door)
A: Cooooooode?
M: Pieman!
A: M! The code will never be Pieman!
M: Well, what is it then?
A: Sword! Knock again.
M: (knocks on door)
A: Coooooode?
M: Pie! .....man?
A: NOOOOOO, M! Sword! Sword! Coooooode!
M: (very satisfied). Swordman!
A: I give up. You do it. (knocks on door)
M: Coooooooode!
A: Sword!
M: Nope!
A: What is it then?
M opens door and whispers to A.
M: Code?
A: (disgustedly) Tinkerbell

A Cactus Lesson

Today I learned a very valuable lesson about cacti. Or cactuses. Whatever. I spent the morning with a very nice Realtor driving me around and showing me potential houses in case we do actually (slight shudder) move to Albuquerque. And I want you to know that I just spelled that correctly without using spellcheck. Anyway, of course many of the houses had cactus plants growing in the yard. I don't think I've ever seen a "wild" cactus before, so naturally, I had to touch one. Very, very bad idea. My two fingers were literally stuck to the cactus. I mean, I could not pull them off. At all. The Realtor asked, "Are you ok?" Have you ever had to say this sentence: "No, actually, I'm stuck to a cactus." She said, "What?" I said, "Seriously, I cannot take my hand off this cactus." At least, not without a great deal of pain and bleeding, I was thinking. She suggested I pull my hand really hard. Of course, once I did that I ripped a big chunk off the cactus, destroying years of growth. I can't think of a time recently when I've felt more idiotic. Luckily the Realtor had a pair of gloves in her car so she grabbed the piece of cactus and held tight while I literally ripped my hand off the barbs. It hurt. A. Lot. But I only bled a little!

And now the cactus was stuck to the Realtor's glove. She had to step on it with her shoe to get it off.


So, the lesson is, Don't Touch the Cacti (Cactuses). Ever!

Christmas Vacation: by Guest Blogger W

We went to Edmonton this December for Christmas. And since we flew with airmiles (thank you, family), I had to take the kids out of school a week and a half early. They were heartbroken. W's teacher gave him an assignment to keep a journal of his trip. Priceless:

Dec. 12: First we drove to the airport. Then we went through security. Then we went to look out the window. I saw many strange and beautiful things like airplanes, trucks and birds. It’s amazing that planes can fly.

Dec. 13: Things I noticed about Canada that are different than Vermont: it was freezing. I could see my breath indoors. It was -40 degrees Celsius. In Canada they use Celsius not Fahrenheit. With wind-chill it was -58 degrees. It was the coldest place on earth. At the airport I heard people speaking French. That’s because Canada has two official languages. French and English. I also noticed that people are nicer in Canada. They act like a waiter at a restaurant, asking what we want. I try to be really nice back.

Dec. 14: We went swimming today. It was really fun. It had a current you could go under and the water would push you along faster. I liked it when the bucket dumped on my head when I was under water. Since I’m 9 I can go everywhere all by myself. I went on the slides, too. I didn’t even have to pay attention to the red light green light thing because there was nobody else there. All the other kids were at school. Ha, ha, ha!

Dec. 15: I got to try on a snowboard. A snowboard looks like a gigantic piece of cardboard in the shape of a rectangle. There’s metal on the bottom to help it slide in the snow. You can also sit on the snowboard and ride it like a sled. You can go really fast. But they don’t let you do that on the ski hill. Awww, that’s too bad. The boots were a little big and they were cold at first. My aunt is taking me snowboarding when it warms up.

Dec. 16: last night I played on the wii a long time. But forget about that I have something BETTER to tell you. I went to a museum. We saw diamonds that my uncle Steve put there. I learned how First Nations, that’s like Native Canadians, caught fish. They sharpened sticks and stuck them in the mud so when the fish tried to jump over the sticks it killed them. I took a picture of plastic fish guts which were pretty realistic.

I got to see one of the biggest spiders in the world THE GOILIOTH BIRD Eating TARANTULA. It was cool. THE END.

Dec. 17 2009: I went SKATING! It was fun. I had black HOCKEY SKATES. The blade was so sharp I cut myself without knowing it. It’s easier to balance than you think it is. There are lines on the rink and you follow them.

Dec. 21: We had a family Christmas party and went dancing and played tag. I played my violin with my cousins. Santa came but it was really my grandpa.


Dec. 26: Do you know what a quad is? It’s like a 4 wheeler made for all seasons. We hooked sleds up to the quad and we went around in circles. Anson’s sled hit a giant clump of snow and his foot almost broke my NECK when he fell down onto my sled.

Dec. 28: we went to the biggest mall in WORLD. There were lollipops the SIZE OF MY HEAD. There was a giant robot dragon that breathed real FIRE. There was an electronic whoopee cushion. There were under water fish tanks. You had to take a submarine to see them.

Dc. 29: Do you know what a GT. Racer is? It’s a sled. A sled that has a steering wheel. It steers so good I went over about ten jumps. The hill was huge. It was dark out but the moon was bright enough.

Dec. 31: We went to the mall's waterpark . A. hated the slides. I hit my SHIN real bad on NESSIES REVENGE. OW ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ! I went on 3 out of the 4 scary slides. The slides were sky screamer, howler, nessie’s revenge and tropical thunder. My favorite slide was Blue Bullet.
THE END

Rock, Paper, Scissors...

So any of you who are nerds like us and watch Big Bang Theory will recognize this flowchart:


We had a very, very long drive last week (6 hours each way) and the boys were arguing about which movie to watch on the dvd player. W was, of course, trying to manipulate things so he would win when A suggested rock, paper, scissors. The only problem was, A won. This did not sit will with W's nine year old egocentric sensibilities. Eric laughed and said, "you need to play rock paper scissors lizard Spock." W has never seen that and has no idea who Spock is so he invented the following:

ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, WORM, LEAF

I don't have time to diagram a cute little flowchart but here are the basic rules:

1. Worm wraps around Scissors
2. Rock crushes Worm
3. Leaf covers Rock
4. Worm eats Leaf
5. Scissors cut Leaf
6. Worm eats Paper
7. Paper beats Leaf since paper is made from trees

I don't think he knew why we were laughing so hard from the front seat. In the end, A watched his dvd and W played on the iPod. The secret to happy travellers: each needs their own entertainment center.

"A Carrot Tale" by Guest Blogger W

I am so pleased to welcome my very first guest blogger, my soon to be nine year old (at midnight!) W. His first blog is a response to a homework assignment: Pick a fruit or vegetable. Describe how it goes from the farm to the market.

Hello my name is carrot. I grew in the dirt on a farm. Then I was picked by a farmer. I was washed and scrubbed and put into a bag. Then I was shipped to the market by a big truck. Then I was bought and dipped in ranch dressing. OH NO!

We'll be back with any teacher's comments in the future. Thanks for your blog today, W! And Happy Birthday tomorrow!

Why I Nearly Failed High School Math...

So while shopping at Home Depot one day I came across this little booklet near the Behr paint: Disney Princess Dream Room. Of course, M's little eyeballs spotted it and immediately the campaign for a PINK room began. I delayed by telling her to wait until Grandma came, and then she would help me paint the PINK room. Grandma came, saw the picture, thought I was crazy, but agreed to help me anyway. It all sounded so simple:

Instructions:

1. Make a mark every 16 inches across the ceiling, walls and floor. No problem, right? Easy.
2. Now connect the marks to create a grid. This, as it turns out, was much, much, much harder than it sounds.

Problems even Einstein couldn't solve (I bet):

1. In order to make straight lines, you really need a straight edge. We did not have one. Our tape measure kept curling up so our lines were way off. (NOTE: a piece of edging, while straightish, is not a good substitute for a real straight edge)
   
2. It's really kind of hard to connect dots all the way across a wall, especially when some of those dots disappear into the corner. (and the piece of edging you're using is neither straight nor long enough)
   
3. Did you know that pencil does not wash off walls? I went through approximately 17 little tiny erasers trying to get the marks off so we could draw new, equally incorrect marks.
4. After a while we realized that for some unknown reason, connecting 16 inch marks created a 12 inch square. Not all of our squares were 12 inches. So we found a 12 inch square template and tried drawing squares on the wall. That worked for one row. Two hours later, we gave up.

Frustrated, I said to my mom, "You know, I bet this is really easy to do if you just have the right tool." Without missing a beat she says, "What we need is a plumb line, you know, with chalk." I grit my teeth. " I have one of those in the garage."

I even had extra chalk.

5 minutes later the lines were connected.

And guess what? Chalk comes off the wall really easily! No erasers required!
GRRR!

This is the (almost) finished product. Surprisingly easy, with the right tools.

And don't even get me started on the castle stencil...

P.S. My husband explained the math to me. For those of you who want to know it has something to do with "a squared + b squared = c squared divided by 2" or some such nonesense. Email him if you really want to know.