Valentine's Day

I don't know exactly when Valentine's day became a children's holiday, but I think once you have kids that's all it's about. And I can't believe how much work it is! Even if you do those commercial paper Disney character valentines, you still have to write all 30 names of every kid and teacher in the class and then multiply that by the number of children you have. And then, of course, you have to make cupcakes for the class parties and then you have to deal with your kids bouncing off the walls after eating the cupcakes and lollipops from said party. Anyway, the reason for this post was something pretty funny that I found in W's Valentine mailbox after it was all over and we were looking through his valentines. Keep in mind that this boy started a "Get Rid Of Slimy girlS" (otherwise known as G.R.O.S.S.) club at school, a la Calvin and Hobbes, his heroes. When asked which girls are slimy, he responded, "Oh, you know, the ones who like Hannah Montana and Fairies." Well, sure enough, in his valentine's box there was a Hannah Monatana valentine. But I noticed something strange about Hannah's face. W had drawn glasses and a beard and mustache on her. It was such a classic boy thing to do, I had to laugh. I mean, do people really still draw eyeglasses and mustaches? I guess so...

Big Dollies

Recently I volunteered to help with a school fund raiser and ended up in charge of the lunch. We are having a chili cook-off and I thought it would be great if the prizes were aprons. So last week I wrote out a nice letter and dropped it off at this lovely store, http://www.vermontapron.com The owner, a very nice lady, and I chatted for a bit and she agreed to donate an apron to my cause (she actually ended up giving us three which was sooo kind!). I had little M with me and she was thrilled to see all the pretty, flowery, lacy items all around the store. But I didn't notice her eyes getting really big at the sight of the life-size mannequin sitting on the store checkout table. She tugged on my arm and whispered, "Mommy, are those girls dead?" Poor thing! We explained they weren't dead, just plastic, "like big dollies." Ok, she was fine with that idea. The store owner said it happens all the time. Once, she was changing the clothing on the mannequins in the display window and she took one of the arms off only to hear a little boy screaming outside on the sidewalk.

I Would Be A Dragon...

This is just one of those silly little games you play in the car while driving (which we do here A LOT). But it made me laugh really hard so I thought I'd post it as a memory for later.

Mom (trying to get kids to stop screaming at and kicking each other from across the van): Kids! KIDS! If you could be any kind of animal, what kind would you be?

W: A bird. So I could fly around and be cute and eat bugs. Actually, I'd be a hummingbird who sips nectar and I'd be really fast.

A: I'd be a baby bunny, so cute and soft and fuzzy and cozy.

W: Yeah, but then you'd get eaten by a fox.

A: No I wouldn't! Foxes don't eat bunnies, do they mommy?

Mom: Sorry, honey, actually foxes do eat bunnies. (A starts to get tears in his eyes) But, but! Wait! Baby bunnies are also really fast and good at hiding. Okay?

W: Yeah, and rabbits have sharp teeth so you could chew the fox's leg off.

Mom: Ooookay, what about M? What kind of animal would she be?

M (looking at W for approval): I'd be a bird, too.

W: Yeah, we could be birds together. M, would you be a pink bird?

M: Yes. A pink bird with sparkly feathers. (of course)

W: Actually, I'd be an Ever Bird, half woodpecker and half hummingbird and all the colors of the rainbow.

A: What about you, Mommy? What kind of animal would you be?

Mom (having never actually thought of this before): Hmm, that's a good question, A. I'm not really sure. Maybe a bird? Something that could fly...

W: You could be a cicada, they fly. Or a grasshopper.

Mom: No, no bugs. But I'd want to live somewhere warm, like Hawaii....

A: Mommy, you need to be a mommy fox so you could protect all the little baby bunnies and birdies.

Mom: That's true, I would need to protect you. I know! I'd be a dragon. That way I could fly, I could sleep all I want, I could protect you with my claws and fire breathing and I'd be warm all the time.

W: Yeah, and you'd have lots of treasure so you can buy us anything we want.

Mom: Um, hmm. Wait, we're forgetting Daddy. What kind of animal would he be?

W: A bear.

A: Yeah, a big fat bear with a big belly!

W: Who toots all the time!

All: Hysterical giggling