Wednesday, April 1, 2009

A Story: Kind of Gross, Mostly Hilarious

Okay, in full honesty I have to say that Eric hates this story and will not be happy that I'm repeating it. However, it was such a memorable incident that the kids still remember it years later. And since I seem to be in this "write it for posterity" mode, I thought I'd post it. It's for history, right?

It all started at the Big Lake Half Marathon in New Hampshire.

May 7, 2005.

What is significant about that date, you ask? Well, let's see. In exactly 4 weeks my third baby would be born. Two weeks after that we'd be moving to a new state and starting a new job. What kind of crazy person at 8 months pregnant packs two kids up in the car at 6 a.m. (gotta get there in time for registration) to drive an hour to then "watch" the husband/father figure run a half marathon? Which, by the way, takes an hour and a half to run. It was cold. Really, really cold. And very windy. Also? Raining. I couldn't exactly take the kids outside and let them run around and play since I couldn't keep up with them at that point. So we decided to meet Eric at the finish line. He took off and honestly, I can't remember what I did for the next two hours except wait in the car which was getting very muggy and hot with humidity and 3 (and a half) people sitting inside it. Then comes the inevitable.

"Mommy," says W. "I have to go to the bathroom." A was only 17 months old at this point and still in diapers but W was another story, of course. I sighed. Do I even know where the bathroom is? Do I actually have the energy to unseatbelt these kids and drag them around in the freezing rain looking for a bathroom? No, I do not. I spied an empty water bottle on the floor of the car and handed it to W. "Can you just pee in this bottle?" "Sure, Mommy." And he did a great job. Of course, not wanting it to spill, I screwed the lid back on and LEFT IT IN THE CUP HOLDER of the car. Shortly after this the race was winding up so we headed out to the finish line, just in time to cheer Eric on as he won his division. Hooray for daddy! Now can we get back in the car and go home because we're tired and freezing? He was a very good sport and agreed that we could leave right away, but not without first waiting for the official results to be posted so he could collect his prize: a bottle of maple syrup with "Winner, etc." etched on it. Very nice. Still looks delicious. Does maple syrup get better as it ages? Anyway, we piled into the car and the first thing I said was, "Oh, see that water bottle, there? Don't drink it," and explained W's predicament. Unfortunately, my husband has the WORST memory ever and a few minutes later, while I was enjoying the scenery out the window, he unscrewed the lid of the bottle and took a big swig. C'mon! He'd just run a half-marathon and was very, very thirsty. You see a water bottle sitting in a cup holder...what else are you going to do? I cannot imagine the disgustingness. Of course he spit it all out immediately and stopped the car right then and there to pour out the contents and throw away the bottle. He was so mad! And I can't blame him for that. But W and I could not stop laughing and to this day when we're taking a road trip, every time Eric opens a bottle of water W will say, "Hey, Daddy, do you remember that time..." Yes," snaps Eric, "don't talk about it." It is definitely not one of his favorite stories. But it still makes me laugh.


And also, I wonder: Why did I ever leave it in the cup holder to begin with?

6 comments:

Theresa said...

This is a good one. Remind me to always check the water bottles in your vehicles

camellia said...

This made me giggle.

Cassie said...

Wow, I think I just threw up a little bit! That is one heck of a story...I love that W still remembers and is happy to "remind" Eric.

Shay said...

what a great story...for posterity of course!

Julie Allen said...

That's a pretty fantastic story. It reminds me of one Jahnelle Wengler told about her brother, who hates to stop for potty breaks on road trips. He and his wife and kids were driving from Southern CA to Fresno and he drank a huge Big Gulp but didn't want to stop to pee, so he just filled up the Big Gulp cup with pee, then, while driving 80 mph, tried to empty the cup out the window. Yeah. That worked really well and he finished the drive to Fresno saturated with his own urine. I can't decide which would be worse, his experience or Erik's. Of course, his was self-inflicted and Erik was the innocent victim. Hmm.

Crusty said...

So "Dumb and Dumber" or was it the Office...no, that was a can...